And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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