I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
