what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
