I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
