Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
