When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
