I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
