Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
