Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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