Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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