just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
