I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
