More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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