You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
