So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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