Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
