I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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