Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
