I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
