is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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