you turned your livingroom into a bong?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
