I just made out with a guy for $7.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
