I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
