I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
