Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
