I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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