I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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