Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
