Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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