True but thats because hes a fetus.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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