is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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