is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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