Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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