What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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