I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
