i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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