Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
