Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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