The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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