I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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