But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she told me i tasted like america
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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