He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
