i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i came on her dog
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
