PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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