fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
