How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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