Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
