Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize