Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
