Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
