Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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