dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
