Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
