so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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