I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I think a kid would responsible me up
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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