I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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