just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize