I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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