Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
